Sharing Responsibilities

If you live in a home with more than one parent, then you should be sharing responsibilities in some form. Every parent is different, and as to what you should be responsible for will vary depending on your relationship with your partner, and how much time you have available. However, assuming one partner doesn’t want to take responsibility for everything, then you should plan to help with your child.

While it’s probably not the best choice to take everything on yourself, you can try to. However, if the other partner wants to help, then you should let them. Yes, they’re not going to always do everything the exact way you want to, but that is part of being a parent and bringing a child into the world. You’ll have to work through how things are done with your partner if you don’t like how they handle it.

Generally speaking, the problem is that one of the parents doesn’t want to participate in raising kids, or does so very minimally. This is extremely frustrating when you’re doing everything and the other partner isn’t doing anything. While it’s definitely possible to do everything on your own (as there are many single parents out there that do), when you’re expecting help then it makes it really hard when you don’t get it.

If you’ve just become a parent, you’re likely finding yourself in a position where you have to give up a lot of your free time. This can be extremely difficult to do - you want to enjoy your hobbies like you did before, and be able to spend time with your friends. Unfortunately, once you become a parent, you don’t really get to make that choice all of the time. Choosing to become a parent takes away that free time.

You are going to have to give up a lot of time that you spent on yourself - there’s no other choice if you want to keep your family. If you choose to ignore your child and partner and only spend time on yourself, then you’re effectively making the decision to leave your family, and you shouldn’t be surprised when they do leave you. Since you’re not helping, there’s no real reason to keep you around.

If you find yourself on the other side of the equation - looking for help - then you need to be patient for a few months, but ultimately if things don’t change then you need to make it clear that you’ll be leaving with the child if they don’t start helping. Being a parent is not easy, and adding stress to your life because your partner is not helping makes it even harder. It may seem scary, but make the decision that is best for you.

Sharing responsibility should happen when both parents are available. If one parent works and the other doesn’t, then the time when the parent isn’t working should be split 50/50 with the parent that doesn’t work. When you’re home after work, then you should expect to spend half of your free time parenting. Being a full time stay at home parent is probably more difficult than your full time job, so don’t think you’ve earned a break - both partners have.

As a parent, you need to plan to spend time being a parent. Share responsibilities with your partner, and be an effective parent.