Support Through a Miscarriage

If you’ve never tried getting pregnant, you might think that it’s all a simple and straightforward task. You do the deed, and suddenly you’ve got a baby inside of you. Unfortunately, it’s generally not that easy. It seems that it’s only that easy if you don’t want to get pregnant. Otherwise, it often can take months or even years to get pregnant for many women, and then there’s a chance of miscarriage.

Miscarriages are one of those things that are not talked about a lot, but that are extremely common. It’s understandable why they’re not a big discussion point - it’s painful to remember and talk about, and it’s not like it’s a fun subject to talk about with friends and family. It’s easier to skim over the details of a miscarriage, and to focus on when you actually went through a full term to have your baby.

However, it’s important to at least make parents that are trying to having kids aware of how common having a miscarriage is, and that it’s normal for many women to go through them. It’s also important to let everyone grieve appropriately when they go through a miscarriage. Whether it’s the mother or father, everyone processes miscarriages differently and some will need more time than others.

Depending on how far along the pregnancy was, a miscarriage can be far more traumatic than if a miscarriage happened early on. That’s not to say that an ealy miscarriage isn’t painful both physically and emotionally (they definitely are), but the further you get into a pregnancy, the stronger those feelings will be. A late miscarriage is one of the most devastating experiences to future parents.

Just because a father isn’t carrying the baby doesn’t mean it won’t be hard for them either. They certainly won’t have the physical pain that the mother experiences, but they can definitely struggle emotionally with the event. It’s possible that counseling will be needed to deal with the trauma, and at the very least, a father that loses a fetus to miscarriage should discuss their feelings with their partner.

Mothers on the other hand go through both the physical and emotional pains of a miscarriage. We’ve discussed the miracle of a human growing inside of you during pregnancy, and giving birth is such a unique experience. Tearing that away early is extremely difficult, and the devastation that it can cause can not be underestimated. Discuss your feelings with your partner and your doctor.

If you’re comfortable with talking to others about your experience as well, then you definitely should. You may be surprised at how many other couples have gone through similar experiences. That’s not to say that your experience isn’t meaningful - it most definitely is to you - but having a discussion with others that have gone through the same experience is a great way to understand how to better deal with the emotions.

Miscarriages happen, and many couples have experienced them. Make sure you’re getting the support you need to deal with the traumatic experience.