Doing The Dirty Work

Doing The Dirty Work


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As a parent, you’ll be called on to deal with some of the grossest things you’ve ever dealt with, in your life. Buckle up, because you’re going to have to do it.

Being a parent can be gross, and it’s not just the poop you’ll have to deal with. That’s just one of the things that you’ll be cleaning up as a parent. You’re now responsible for a child, and there’s no one else that is going to be cleaning up after them outside of potentially another parent - either way, one of you will have to do with it.

I previously talked about where kids poop, and that is certainly one of the disgusting things that you’ll deal with in cleaning up. Fortunately, all of those poopy diapers will help you to prepare for many of the other gross things that your child will do as they grow up. Below are a few things that you need to be prepared for.


Yes, there will be plenty of poop to go around. You’ll be desperate to get them out of diapers, especially if they have explosions in their current diapers. Of course, it’s going to likely get a little bit worse before it gets better once you start potty training.

I’ve written an entire article discussing all of the places that kids may end up pooping, and you get to clean that up. All of the poop prepares you for some of the other items on this list, but just realize that it’s not going to clean itself up when it ends up in clothes, on the floor, and any other number of places.

Throw Up

When your child is new, they’ll likely just spit up the milk or formula that they’re eating and drinking. As your child moves into actual food though, your child will end up getting sick at some point, and throwing up often comes along with it. While you’ve learned to try to throw up in the toilet, or in a bucket, your child doesn’t yet know that.

Your child will throw up wherever they are at the moment when they need to throw up. They likely won’t be able to tell you it’s coming, and it will be wherever they’re at. You’ll have throw up on carpet, couches, beds, and everywhere else in between at some point. Get a mask on, and get cleaning because it’s not going anywhere.


At first, boogers will be something that comes out of your child that you wipe off of their nose. You’ll be able to teach them to blow their nose, and get their boogers out as well. That’s not too bad. However, you’ll likely be dealing with boogers in more places than in your child’s nose.

Your child will wipe their nose on most anything, and they may learn to pick boogers out of their nose. Don’t be surprised if you find boogers on clothes, pillows, and walls. Fortunately, unlike the previous items on this list, boogers don’t smell, so cleaning them up isn’t as gag inducing.

Chewed Up Food

As your child grows up, they are going to start trying new food. Oftentimes they are going to get something in their mouth, chew it up, and then spit it out. They won’t like either the texture or the flavor, and it will come out. Hopefully, it’s just on their plate or bib, but may end up spit out on you if you’re unlucky.

When kids get older, they like to do things that will disgust you. For some reason, chewing up food and showing it to you in their mouth is one of them. They’ll also still spit things out as well, and it’s generally a bit grosser as they get older.


Blood is something that you’ll have to become comfortable with as a parent. For some adults, blood is faint-inducing. They just don’t deal with the sight of it very well. While a large amount of blood may not be common, you’ll need to become comfortable with a bit of blood as you’ll be cleaning up plenty of it with your child.

As they grow from a baby into a toddler, and start walking and running around, there will be plenty of falls that you can’t prevent. These will often result in blood coming out of the mouth, nose, or a cut. You can’t prevent it, even as much as you may want to. If you’re scared of blood, you’ll need to do your best to prepare.

Blood will end up in clothes, more than anything, but it may end up on floors and furniture as well. The sooner you’re able to clean blood up, the easier it will be to get out, so once you have your child calmed and cleaned up, get to cleaning up that blood as well.


Being a parent has its highs and lows. Doing the dirty work is one of those lows. It’s not fun, but something that has to be done. If you have more than one child, it will get easier with the second and beyond - you’ll have more experience with it. Regardless, you may be surprised by some of the things that you’re able to do. You can do it.


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