Find Time For Yourself

Before you had kids, you were likely pretty free to do whatever you wanted, when you wanted. Even with a spouse, you were both grown adults, so if you wanted to spend the evening out with your friends, or go to the gym everyday, there was no issue leaving your spouse at home alone. Wanted to watch a movie together, and stay up late? No problem (as long as you didn’t have to get up too early for work).

Once you have your first child, that will all change pretty drastically. You’re now responsible for a new baby, and there’s no one else (besides your partner) that is going to be taking care of the baby. You can’t have a nice night out whenever you feel like it, you can’t always sleep in on the weekends, and you can’t leave the baby home whenever you want. Your first responsibility will be making sure your baby is being cared for.

This sounds a bit dramatic, but a lot of new parents find themselves struggling with this concept. While there are plenty of parents that are well balanced and move into their new role pretty easily, there are also lots of parents that fall on both sides of the spectrum. There are plenty of parents that don’t take their responsibilities seriously, and do a poor job of spending time with their kids. There are parents on the other side of the spectrum that can’t figure out how to find any time for themselves.

If you find yourself struggling to find time for yourself, then you’re probably on the better side of the spectrum - ignoring your parental responsibilities will not help your child in any way. However, you really need to work on finding time for yourself and for your hobbies. We’re not talking about spending hours everyday doing the things that you want, but rather a few minutes everyday, or a couple of hours per week.

Finding time for your hobbies is not always simple if you’re also trying to be a good parent. However, it’s critical for you in order to keep your mind active, and so that you don’t absolutely dread and hate parenting (you may still not love the parenting thing, but doing things you enjoy will make it easier).

While your kids are still in the toddler phase and below, you’re really going to have to work to find some time for yourself. As they become more independent, you’ll find a bit more free time that you can do some things that you want - it will also be easier finding people that can watch your kids if you want to spend time out with your partner. In the baby and toddler phase, you may have to let some of your other responsibilities fall through (you may have an extra week in between cleaning bathrooms, or you may eat a few more frozen meals than home cooked meals).

Find time to do the things that you want to do early on in your child’s life. Whether you’re reading a few minutes per day, working out consistently, or some other favorite activity, it will help you to feel like a more functional adult, and help keep you sane and happy in the tough times.