Funny Things You Say to Kids

Funny Things You Say to Kids


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You probably find yourself saying some pretty ridiculous things to your kids.

Kids are exploring the world, trying to figure out how it works, and sometimes just want to push your buttons. They will do things that are a bit ridiculous from time to time and may want to try some pretty outlandish things. While there are things that you probably tell them every single day that are fairly common, you’re likely to find that you tell your kids some things that sound pretty funny after the fact.

Telling your child to wash their hands or close the door in the bathroom may get frustrating after awhile. You’ll probably have said it multiple times per day for who knows how long, and it gets boring. Fortunately, there are some things you’ll probably find that you say every now and then that are pretty silly when you think about them out of context. Below are just a few things that we’ve found ourselves saying.

  • Poop. “There’s poop everywhere, stay where you are.” “How did you get poop all the way up there?” “Where’s that poop at?” There are plenty of other references that you’ll be making about poop that sound pretty funny when taken out of context. Yes, you’ll become very familiar with poop as you raise your child. It’s gross at times, but you’ll get past it eventually. 

  • Eating. “Don’t eat your brother.” “Stop trying to eat the stuffed animals.” “Don’t eat the neighbors.” Kids like to put things in their mouths, so you’ll often have to tell them to stop eating things. It’s pretty ridiculous some of the things that they try to put into their mouths. It’s no wonder kids are sick a lot.
  • Licking. “Stop licking the car.” “Stop licking the dog.” “Stop licking the floor.” Stop licking everything and anything in sight if you would. Some kids like to go through a licking phase (probably right after their eating everything phase), and you’ll have to tell them to stop licking everything. Once again, it’s really no surprise that kids get sick so often with all of the disgusting things they lick.
  • Food. “Get the salad out of your ears.” “Don’t stick noodles up your nose.” “No, those ribs are not a hat.” Kids love to play with their food and put it everywhere it doesn’t belong. Don’t be surprised when they have food in some very odd places. They’ll often eat it afterwards too. Gross.
  • Butt. “Don’t stick the dice up your butt.” “Don’t swipe the card through your butt crack.” “Stop touching his butt hole.” Kids are fascinated with their butts. Keep them clothed so that nothing goes up there that shouldn’t, but they may still decide to pull their pants down to explore what things look like up there.

  • Animals. “Don’t ride the dog.” “It’s going to be too dark to see the dead animal corpse.” “Don’t touch the cat’s butt.” Kids can have some funny ideas about animals, and about what they want to see with animals. Try to keep your animals (and kids) injury free the best you can.

It’s certainly an adventure raising kids. You simply never know what they might say or do as they grow up. Continue to do your best to raise them the best you can, and try not to get frustrated when they do some ridiculous things. It’s simply part of growing up and learning at times. Keep track of the funny things that you say from time to time - you’ll look back on them and laugh later.


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